SPIRIT's Diary

I have obesity and my body is swollen, but my soul is like much emaciated. So I always want alcohol more. Yesterday, I went to obesity clinic, and was shown my blood test. All of AST, ALT and γ-GTP was high, in other words, my function of liver was bad. The result made me shocked, and made me drink alcohol more. So, in this morning, I couldn't sleep despite taking sleeping medication. What do I want now? I'm understand I'm very luxury, because people in Kumamoto are struggling catastrophe of earthquake. But what should I do to make me satisfied? Until now, I've written English in this blog to improve my English ability. Can I think just it's great? For now, I began to take a diuretic to lose my body swollen. But now, I'm struggling frequent urination. For it, my soul is like much emaciated. According to some books, it seems we need 40 million yens after retirement. I could reduce paying for PixAI somehow. But my cash is too little because I've been desperate...

I've told myself much time, "About Japanese politics and economy, it's not going to happen overnight. All I can do is just what I can do." However, I've noticed that I could do nothing until now. About much money prepared for equity investing, I've wasted them to PixAI and alcohol. Now, I'm nothing and I still can become nothing. It's exactly same to Itekura Byakuya in Rurouni Kenshin Hokkaido Arc. To resolve incredibly frustrating from it, I cooked again. I made "The mayonnaise yakisoba." The taste of mayonnaise was very melting. The delicious cuisine made me vigorous once. But I have to think, "What will I do for what, as a pharmacist and an investor?" My rest cash is a few. I may have to bear and bear such as saving money and stopping buying alcohol.

  I've gathered illustrations, "Harem Protagonists as Hakkenshi" and "Garupan Captain Group as Hakkenshi", by Mihoniumu-san(@gupmihoniumu, key(gaigaigai123)). In next time, I'm thinking, "Can I make AI animations that 'Harem Protagonists as Hakkenshi' or 'Garupan Captain Group as Hakkenshi' are each gathered." But it's not gone well yet. Based illustrations are two below. By using PixAI i2v4 and Seedance 2.0 of DomoAI, I made animations, "Harem Protagonists as Hakkenshi or Garupan Captain Group as Hakkenshi are coming here shoulder by shoulder." But both of them were failure. These are animations generated by Seedance 2.0. In "Garupan Captain Group Version", Mika as Inumura Daikaku were gone. In "Harem Protagonists Version", the numbers were too exceed. These are animations generated by PixAI i2v4. In "Garupan Captain Group Version", their heights were about same. In "Harem Protagonis...

Recently, I've continued to spend the depressed days. Because I still couldn't stop paying for PixAI, AI illustration and anime generating system, too much, and still couldn't stop drinking alcohol. In church, about this, I consulted to the foreign pastor, and he prayed for me. It's thankful I took alcohol too much, so today too, I did watery diarrhea and depressed emotion. I went to the gastroenterology, and decided to take endoscopy and colon examination in November. My colon is likely to be hurt too much by alcohol. I should have had many things that I want to do, such as  "I want to watch various things of Japan and the world" "By investing, I want to contribute the society." "I want to inform Japanese culture such as Hakkenden to foreigners." However, like Myojin Yahiko in Rurouni Kenshin, it's true, "For it, I've done nothing" "For it, I've built nothing." Now, I don't have sufficient cash to invest...

Recently, I couldn't make liver rest days. My father recommended me to skip alcohol repeatedly. But I couldn't do it. I've thought it's disadvantage if I make my brain inferior by alcohol. But I can't skip alcohol. I've been consumed by suspicion to my parents yet, so I'm always likely to run away from the fact by alcohol. At first, I have to wipe out this suspicion. Yesterday, I could finish a report about the medication, so it should be going well to me about my job. But I can't have sufficient confidence, so I run away from the fact by alcohol. I want to stop taking alcohol completely, and I use more money to invest equities instead. What should I do?

In this morning, I cooked again. I had to think about nutrition of cuisines. So I made, " The Salad of sausage and broccoli". After taking photo, I added mayonnaise into broccoli. The taste was mild. But I and my father could take both protein and dietary fiber. I could reduce my weight from 103kg to 100.5kg. At this rate, I have to lose my weight. In august, I'll meet an old friend when we were pharmaceutical university students. I have to lose my weight as possible.