SPIRIT's Diary

In the end, I couldn’t rein in my excessive spending on PixAI or the money I was wasting on alcohol, so I reluctantly decided to sell some of my shares. Since they’re worth more than I originally paid, I suppose it counts as taking profits. (I didn’t buy them through a NISA account, so some of the proceeds will go toward taxes.) For the moment, I can rest easy because I’ve kept the money for my trip to Germany in a time deposit. Still, I can’t let my guard down when there’s no telling how much fuel prices may rise. I was born during Japan’s economic bubble, in a country that had remained at peace since the Pacific War. Even now, as the number of working poor continues to rise in Japan, people like us still maintain a reasonably high standard of living. I ought to give back as much of that good fortune as I can, but my own weaknesses make it difficult. Even if I tried to give back through physical labor, my mental endurance is far below that of most people. (If I were told to clear rubb...

Ever since it was published in the late Edo period, Kyokutei Bakin’s (Takizawa Bakin’s) Nansō Satomi Hakkenden (hereafter Hakkenden) has been widely read by people of all ages and genders. A major turning point came in 1886 (Meiji 18), when Tsubouchi Shōyō, who at the time was president of Tokyo Imperial University (now the University of Tokyo), published Shōsetsu Shinzui (The Essence of the Novel). In this work, Shōyō advocated realism in fiction, arguing that “novels should focus on depicting human psychology.” At the same time, he went so far as to argue that didactic tales of rewarding good and punishing evil, such as Hakkenden, were outdated. From that point onward, the foundations of the modern Japanese novel in the Meiji era—including Romanticism and Naturalism—are said to have taken root, while Hakkenden came to be regarded as old-fashioned and gradually ceased to be widely read. As a fan of Hakkenden, I have complicated feelings about Shōsetsu Shinzui. On the one hand, I feel ...

I got up at 4:30 A.M. So I cooked again to releive my stress. This time was "The dressed salad of fried chickens and sausage" I also added mayonnaise and broccoli. So, as always, the taste was like melting. The taste of fried chickens was good. I've continued to spend my depressed days because I had wasted money for PixAI, liquor and so on. But by cooking, I could make my stress relieve a bit. For wasting money, I'll pay money by selling equities of Canon.

I got up at 4:30 A.M. again. So I cooked again. I wanted to make yakisoba, but noodle was nothing. So I decided to cook fried vegetables. The taste was light flavor. I wanted to add pork more. But such cuisine is not bad. And I have to lose my weight. As always, I'm feeling like worn out both physically and emotionally. I want to deal with it, but I've not come up the good method. Should I continue to cook I like? I often expect too much of myself, so I should be OK when I could just finish cooking.

Yesterday, I met peers of developmental disorder. But when returning home, I wasted money again, for both paying PixAI and buying liquor. So I became very depressed. I'm always thinking, I'm thinking that can I do something about these much wasting? Honestly, animations generated by PixAI are fun. Today, it just hit me. I often go to art museums, such as Miyagi Art Museum. But it's been rare that i appreciate arts, except Okamoto Taro, Pablo Picasso's opuses and so on. I go to other arts at once after I see one art I should watch arts more closely. I'm requesting illustrations to one illustrator by paying money. To relieve my stress without paying money, I have to watch his illustrations more closely. I love Nansou Satomi Hakkenden, and made him illustrate Hakkenden-related illustrations. I have to watch more closely. To relieve my stress, I changed wallpapers of my iPhone and PC. Of cource, the wallpaper was Hakkenden-related illustrations. I'm volatile and hot...

I'm very depressed, because yesterday too, I wasted money for PixAI and snacks too much. So to relieve this stress, I cooked again. This time was,  "Black Fried Rice with salmon". I added salmon, ketchup and mayonnaise into black rice. So it balanced both chewy texture of black rice and the taste of melting of mayonnaise I made it as breakfast, so I could make my father pleased. The filling was also sufficient. Somehow, I want to relieve my stress by cooking, reduce money for PixAI and liquor and invest more money for equities.