SPIRIT's Diary

My father has become interested in this channel of Youtube below. Similar to me, alcoholic people's living has been described detailly. More thinking, I've not been careful of my health and my blood test. My score of ALT, Triglyceride and so on is high. I've not been careful of my health for future, and I've thought it's OK for me if I can enjoy now and here. I've not been able to stop alcohol because I can't find my way to relieve my stress. Recently, I've tried to relieve my stress to generate illustrations by PixAI, to watch sumo in NHK World in Youtube and so on. In this way, I can listen live commentary of sumo in English. Repeatedly, my parents have said that my health is the most important. I've become 38 years old, so I may have to be careful of my health more. At first, I have to stop eating my snack, and relieve my stress by only generating illustrations and watching sumo.

Yesterday, I went to Soyogi No Mori/Breeze of Forest in Ayashi again. I ate Unagi bowl, drunk the beer, and relaxed in the bath. If I can't travel, my best way to relieve my stress may be that I drink liquor and relaxed for long time. But, recently, I can't put the day to rest the liver. Addiction of alcohol is terrifying. The other way to relieve my stress is that I generate illustration by PixAI. But, recently, I have no idea about what I want to generate illustrations. I've become interested in Rocky, so I want to generate illustration that Garupan Captain Group is jogging, boxing  and so on. In this case, Anchovy is boxing.

I saw this Youtube of Ryou-Gakucho（両学長）/President Ryou, and thought much.     I've understood that we can't succeed if we take no risk. Mr. Bill Gates and Mr. Mark Zuckerberg also said. "The biggest risk is not taking any risk. "     I've understood repeatedly, "Myself is a risk." I can still control neither my emotion nor impulse of my appetite. Today too, because of weekend, I made spaghetti salad and ate. I should have taken Calorie-Mate to lose my weight.     If losing stability of my emotion, immediately, I would make my fangs to others and society. One peer of developmental disorders said to me, "You should have lived in deep of mountains or no manned island." Her saying may be right. By the way, in Edo period, there is a punish "Entou （遠島） ", which is banished to a distant island, such as Hachijo Island.     However, it's bad for me to become a criminal. By eating favorite foods m...

In this late point, I don't think I want to be filial to my parents. And I can't help them buy a mansion. What I can do is just what I pretend non-poli and improve my English ability. Yesterday, my president relied on me to translate an English medication book into Japanese. I also ordered the book, but what is the concept of the English book? At this point, my position may be similar to Hizen in Bakumatsu, which aren't interest on Sonnou and Joui and just improve their militial ability. But this position may make me improve Japan as an oriened-tourism country. However, recently, my lifestyle has been disturbed again. Amount of all liquor, money to waste eat and my weight has increased again. At first, I should revise my lifestyle. Are there any method except eating and drinking liquor, to relieve my stress? Relaxing music has been not effective recently. Anyway, I must write English in this blog and X(the former Twitter) every day, at least.

In Document 72 Hours in NHK, many people was having fun with medal games. Of course, they could neither swap the medals into cash nor presents. But they say, "It's important for us to do meaningless action in our meaningless life." Is it also important for me to do meaningless action? More thinking about it, my former developmental disorder peer always goes to the game center after working in B Type Office. In Gintama, it says that it's important to take a break and do meaningless action. More thinking about it, I've worked as an employment, invested, and spend time to write English in free time. Sometimes, it may be important to do meaningless actions. But, concretely, what is it? Is it watching sports, going to game center and so on? After hanami in Funaoka, I had wasted money to eat and drink more. I can't resolve my stress successfully. What should I do?