SPIRIT's Diary

 In pre-article, I introduced Kaishu Katsu's quote, "It's meaningless if we hurry up. Waiting with lying down is our first priority." But, more thinking, I'm not good at waiting. Today too, not having learned my lesson, I paid money for PixAI. There was an animation that I want to make by any means. But, inversely, I can act aggressively. As new customers of our workplace, I've been interested in LGBTQ recently. So, today, II devoted money for one of LGBTQ group and became a supporting member of it. I prefer yuri, but yuri and LGBTQ are different, so I have to learn about LGBTQ more,, such as books。 However, even a bit, I have to learn ability I can do "waiting", such as saving money. I've understood that I want to spend money for the society..

 Recently, I can’t sleep very well. Because I may take alcohol too much. Recently, I got a medication for insomnia. When taking the medication, I could sleep for first some hours. But after it, I couldn’t sleep anymore. On second tnought, it seems that alcohol is no good for good sleeping. Cani I have only way that I quit taking alcohol completely? This is the sleeping record on September 1st, without taking alcohol. Is it insufficient? Because I became sleepy about 13:30. Anyway, today is work from home, I was very lucky. Alcohol always makes me relaxed and fun, but make my sleeping worse. At any rate, is there no way except stopping taking alcohol completely, to make sleeping better?

Today too, I got up at 4:30 A.M. Ordinarlly, my father makes breakfast, but he only miso soup and mozuku. Particularly, the taste of mozuku and vinegar is terrible to me and drink it with stopping my breath. It's better for me to cook breakfast by myself. In this time, I cooked "Oyakodon" In the result, my father said soup of oyakodon was a bit strong taste. It seemed that the amount of dipping sauce was a bit much. But it wasn't very bad. The texture of chicken thighs was soft and the taste of eggs was mild. It was successful!! Rice bowl series such as oyakodon are always filling. I want to make rice bowl series more.

Recently, I've continued to spend the depressed days. Because I still couldn't stop paying for PixAI, AI illustration and anime generating system, too much, and still couldn't stop drinking alcohol. In church, about this, I consulted to the foreign pastor, and he prayed for me. It's thankful I took alcohol too much, so today too, I did watery diarrhea and depressed emotion. I went to the gastroenterology, and decided to take endoscopy and colon examination in November. My colon is likely to be hurt too much by alcohol. I should have had many things that I want to do, such as  "I want to watch various things of Japan and the world" "By investing, I want to contribute the society." "I want to inform Japanese culture such as Hakkenden to foreigners." However, like Myojin Yahiko in Rurouni Kenshin, it's true, "For it, I've done nothing" "For it, I've built nothing." Now, I don't have sufficient cash to invest...

Yesterday, I went to a bar and drink liquor with my father and my father's friend. So today, I have heavy stomachache, cough and diarrhea. I want any medications of stomach. As always, I've often drunk liquor. Actually, there is nothing better than drinking no liquor. But unintentionally, I drink liquor. Recently, my taste has changed and I haven't felt the taste of liquor is delicious. It would be good if I won't drink any liquor at any rate. I had bought liquor too much, so my cash has become little again. It's no good because I want to go to Tokyo in June. From the hotel, I want to watch the sea of Odaiba, don't I? Anyway, I'm likely to need to sell the part of equities. It's also no good.

Yesterday, I went to Funaoka for hanami.  However, fully-blossomed time has been passed, so passengers of train was very few. And most of cherry blossoms in Funaoka had been scattered. It was profanity because I brought my favorite ramen and hamburgers of McDonalds. I wanted to watch Hitome Senbon Sakura（日本語：一目千本桜） in Funaoka, but, in the middle way, I felt strong bowel movement, so I went to Aeon near from Hitome Senbon Sakura. This Aeon was run-down, but I’ve thought, that it was gorgeous shopping center in the past and many people had come to it.  What should I do for renovating this Aeon? Should I buy equity of Aeon? By the way, as an investor, I'm always thinking what equity I should buy for society. I’m troubled where I should invest for.  I’m being troubled, that I have to invest for one and I have to also invest for another. After returning from Aeon to JR Funaoka Station, I had become completely tired. And it was too hot.  So, earlier, I returned to Sendai C...

After going the alcoholic hospital, I went to Billy Ramen, my favorite ramen shop, and bought it with 1800 yen. But it will make my weight increase definitely. Should I go to Overeaters Anonymous in Sendai? According to the information from ChocoZAP, around needs 21 days about what new actions become habitancy. About English, I've written English in SNS and this blog much and much, such as Experimental English Outgoing. Before I knew it, I've not felt suffering, and I've often written English in SNS, in free time such as I'm in the bus. In this way, can I make exercise such as walking habitancy? Sooner or later, I'll eat Billy Ramen. On weekend, I want to buy Billy Ramen again, and go to Funaoka Castle Park for hanami. However, how should I lose my weight? I'm exact opposite personality from such as mild, great personality and so on. In some cases, I'm likely to stab others multiple times and pour kerosene to others and take a fire. Moreover, the possibiliti...

Yesterday, I went to Sendai Port and took an onsen, in Hotel Dormy Inn Sendai. In the middle time, I ate butadon again. Because eating butadon or something, my weight has returned to 93.0kg again. It's no good. Recently, I've not taken GLP-1 agonists, for losing my weight. GLP-1 taking is difficult, and I have to take it in the morning, without eating and drinking. And after taking it, I have to wait to eat and drink for 30 minutes. I often eat and drink just after awakening, so I couldn't take GLP-1 agonists effectively. It's also no good. Last Wednesday, I took three-ways interview, and my president recommended me to maintain my health. But I can't lose my weight and suspend taking alcohol. What should I do?

Since I was child, my self-esteem is low. So, to get good pride, I decided to watch this Nakata Atsuhiko's Youtube. This video said, "It's good that you write what you could do in this day." So, I tried to write what I could do in X (former Twitter). Yesterday, what I could do was, 1. I could write English in my blogs. 2. I could study G Certificate. 3. I could walk and exercise. Now that I think about it, I can do it sufficiently. Today's what I could do was, 1. I could buy equity of SoftBank Group and Ajinomoto with each 2000 yen. 2. I could write English in X (former Twitter). What I can do may be more, I think.

Recently, I can't come up with what I want to write this blog. This blog is alternation of my diary, so it would be good if I can continue to write every day. More thinking, in Gintama, there is a story about Seita's picture diary. It seems, to elementary school students, it's good for them that writing own diary is making good habitancy. In fact, it's said, that writing own diary is good for activating own brain, improving writing ability and so on. But, today, how should I write this blog? Recently, I took GLP-1 agonist, the medication for obesity, so I could reduce my weight from 93.2kg to 92.4kg. It's good for my health. But my habitancy has remained, that I eat and drink liquor too much if I have much stress. I can suppress my crave to liquor, by taking cyanamide and Legtect. What should I do for future?

Today, I went to Hatsumoude/the first shrine visit, in New Year. With my father, I went to it, but my father was more vigorous than me. I’ve become very tired now. Recently, my mental instability and addiction to alcohol become even mortal condition now. So, for recovery of my mental health and expanding Hakkenden to foreigners, I prayed in the shrine. Is it OK for me, the Protestant Christian, to pray in the Japanese Shrine? However, the vision from the shrine was very beautiful. Recently, I'm wondering what I want to do. It's OK for me to contribute my company with English knowledge and Chat GPT. It's OK for me to inform Hakkenden of foreigners with English. But my mental health has become dangerous, such as alcohol addiction and so on. I've kept in mind to take Regtect, the inhibitor of alcohol, three times a day. And, also, I've been tired of accompanying my parents in year-end and new year holidays. It would be OK for me to make my own time, without drinking al...

Recently, almost night, I had drunk liquor and become drunken. So I couldn't study G Certificate for 2 days. Today, for catching up, I studied G Certificate textbook for 9 pages. And, I took practice exercises first. I passed half questions of practice exercises. But I have to pass 70% questions. It was insufficient. And I have to think how I make use of knowledge of G Certificate in the pharmacy. For future, medical DX will progress, so we also need knowledge about computers. (But for it, we need My Number Card absolutely, but it's not trusted to Japanese citizens very well. ) Anyway, what I can do is only, that I'll pass G Certificate and continue to buy the equities related to AI and IT, isn't it?

Recently, I’m always languid. My BMR has decreased because of my aging, so I can’t lose my weight however I  exercise. And yesterday, my proposal hasn’t been adopted to my president. Yesterday, I ate two big cups of ramen in a binge. My president said, that she’s struggling to manage her company because the value of medications and revenue has decreased but the minimum wage has to raise. So I’ve thought I have to deal with it. It’s also OK, if medical DX in my pharmacies progresses and interpersonal work of pharmacies increase. But it needs much time, effort and expenses. My company is minor, so I don’t think we have sufficient assets. So I’ve thought we have no methods except incorporating new customers. I came up with inviting foreign travelers and foreign laborers as new customers. But brochures for foreigners weren’t adopted to my president. My president said, that no foreigners come to our pharmacies so the brochures for foreigners are useless. But somehow, can we make foreign...

I have a bad habitancy, that I want to use the rest cash to invest equities and social-lending. But I decided to leave 100,000 yens as the cash. Always, I've been worried whether I can pay the paying of credit cards. In other words, I also need some cash. I made the cash by selling the stocks of ANA. But I don't know it goes well or worst. And, I have the thinking,  "Using the cash is the most meaningful. the cash is a voucher to be able to exchange the value and the cash itself has no value." Anyway, I have to collect the money to go to Germany. Anyway, I have to live by my own.

Since long time, I've thought I want to eat Billy Ramen enough be tired of it. So I went to Billy Ramen and buy ramen when my parents were going out. However, when I tried to eat it as lunch, I couldn't eat ever half of it. Char siu was fatty and delicious. Have I been aging like not being able to eat favorite food enough? But I’ve been still fat. My parents went to Chiba, so they won't return by tomorrow. So I'll eat Billy Ramen little by little.

My weight has never decreased recently, and I've maintained my weight 90kg. I want to eat Billy Ramen on this weekend, so I've tried to lose my weight. On next Sunday, there is my uncle's 77th birthday, and will hold its party in Chiba. But I can't attend party on account of my choir of my church. At least, I want to buy my favorite Baum-kuchen and send to my uncle. When my parents leave their home for my uncle's party, I intend to eat my favorite ramen. But can my cash become left? I also restarted hedge selling to get more money. Can it become effective?

Recently, my gums on left and top have had sometimes pain. I've thought I have periodontal disease. So today, I went to dental clinic. My prediction was accurate. The doctor said that my gums on left and top has worse and inflammation. I have to take treatment with anesthesia. I was surprised because I've blushed my teeth thoroughly every day. But it seemed my brushing the gap between my teeth was a bit rough. Next week, I'll go to Tokyo, so I have to brush more thoroughly.

Today, I've become 39 years old, but I'm still immature. I've still waste money to eat Famichiki and drink liquor. Recently, I made the goal that I want to go to Germany on next Oct, but how will I change my lifestyle? I felt that my physical strength has fell considerably. I go down the hill when I go to my church, but I can't go up the hill to return home. So I detour the route to go to central of Sendai or return my home. And I'm still short-tempered. I'm likely to grab hold of my parents when they scold me fiercely. Perhaps, it won't change. I may have to bear until next October. I've been variously immature yet, but thank you for your continuing support.

I ate Billy Ramen, my favorite ramen, too much yesterday, so my weight has been likely to become 92kg. Changing into BMI, it's 31.9. It's a bit NG. I've not been careful about my weight. And I've skipped to take Alli, the inhibitor of absorption of fat. So it may be naturally for increasing my weight. I want to make my joyful life even if my life is short. So, it's not careful about my weight. But how's that? Recently, my blood pressure has continued to hypertension. It's also naturally, because the blood pressure increases if we're fat. I can drink only sweet drinks because my taste has changed. With it, I've taken sugar too much, it's also made me increase my weight. Should I reduce my weight?

Today, I went to the psychiatry and took counseling. I informed the counselor of my chest pain on Oct. 11th. The counselor said, "It was OK for you to find the reason of your chest pain. With continuing, you should monitor your chest with skipping GLP-1 agonist." I became a bit relaxed to hear his saying. The counselor also said,  "Your present task is very difficult, but inversely, you can intend to resolve such difficult task. With deciding the deadline, it's important for you to take the task with your pace." After hearing his saying, I became a bit more relaxed. In conclusion, it's important for me to take my task with my pace. I have to collect more information of my task. With skipping GLP-1 agonist, I can be likely to extend my lifeline, so I have to think more how to spend my rest lifeline. In short term, I want to go to Gogh Museum in Ueno.