SPIRIT's Diary

Today, I went to Hatsumoude/the first shrine visit, in New Year. With my father, I went to it, but my father was more vigorous than me. I’ve become very tired now. Recently, my mental instability and addiction to alcohol become even mortal condition now. So, for recovery of my mental health and expanding Hakkenden to foreigners, I prayed in the shrine. Is it OK for me, the Protestant Christian, to pray in the Japanese Shrine? However, the vision from the shrine was very beautiful. Recently, I'm wondering what I want to do. It's OK for me to contribute my company with English knowledge and Chat GPT. It's OK for me to inform Hakkenden of foreigners with English. But my mental health has become dangerous, such as alcohol addiction and so on. I've kept in mind to take Regtect, the inhibitor of alcohol, three times a day. And, also, I've been tired of accompanying my parents in year-end and new year holidays. It would be OK for me to make my own time, without drinking al...

Recently, almost night, I had drunk liquor and become drunken. So I couldn't study G Certificate for 2 days. Today, for catching up, I studied G Certificate textbook for 9 pages. And, I took practice exercises first. I passed half questions of practice exercises. But I have to pass 70% questions. It was insufficient. And I have to think how I make use of knowledge of G Certificate in the pharmacy. For future, medical DX will progress, so we also need knowledge about computers. (But for it, we need My Number Card absolutely, but it's not trusted to Japanese citizens very well. ) Anyway, what I can do is only, that I'll pass G Certificate and continue to buy the equities related to AI and IT, isn't it?

Recently, I’m always languid. My BMR has decreased because of my aging, so I can’t lose my weight however I  exercise. And yesterday, my proposal hasn’t been adopted to my president. Yesterday, I ate two big cups of ramen in a binge. My president said, that she’s struggling to manage her company because the value of medications and revenue has decreased but the minimum wage has to raise. So I’ve thought I have to deal with it. It’s also OK, if medical DX in my pharmacies progresses and interpersonal work of pharmacies increase. But it needs much time, effort and expenses. My company is minor, so I don’t think we have sufficient assets. So I’ve thought we have no methods except incorporating new customers. I came up with inviting foreign travelers and foreign laborers as new customers. But brochures for foreigners weren’t adopted to my president. My president said, that no foreigners come to our pharmacies so the brochures for foreigners are useless. But somehow, can we make foreign...

I have a bad habitancy, that I want to use the rest cash to invest equities and social-lending. But I decided to leave 100,000 yens as the cash. Always, I've been worried whether I can pay the paying of credit cards. In other words, I also need some cash. I made the cash by selling the stocks of ANA. But I don't know it goes well or worst. And, I have the thinking,  "Using the cash is the most meaningful. the cash is a voucher to be able to exchange the value and the cash itself has no value." Anyway, I have to collect the money to go to Germany. Anyway, I have to live by my own.

Since long time, I've thought I want to eat Billy Ramen enough be tired of it. So I went to Billy Ramen and buy ramen when my parents were going out. However, when I tried to eat it as lunch, I couldn't eat ever half of it. Char siu was fatty and delicious. Have I been aging like not being able to eat favorite food enough? But I’ve been still fat. My parents went to Chiba, so they won't return by tomorrow. So I'll eat Billy Ramen little by little.

My weight has never decreased recently, and I've maintained my weight 90kg. I want to eat Billy Ramen on this weekend, so I've tried to lose my weight. On next Sunday, there is my uncle's 77th birthday, and will hold its party in Chiba. But I can't attend party on account of my choir of my church. At least, I want to buy my favorite Baum-kuchen and send to my uncle. When my parents leave their home for my uncle's party, I intend to eat my favorite ramen. But can my cash become left? I also restarted hedge selling to get more money. Can it become effective?

Recently, my gums on left and top have had sometimes pain. I've thought I have periodontal disease. So today, I went to dental clinic. My prediction was accurate. The doctor said that my gums on left and top has worse and inflammation. I have to take treatment with anesthesia. I was surprised because I've blushed my teeth thoroughly every day. But it seemed my brushing the gap between my teeth was a bit rough. Next week, I'll go to Tokyo, so I have to brush more thoroughly.

Today, I've become 39 years old, but I'm still immature. I've still waste money to eat Famichiki and drink liquor. Recently, I made the goal that I want to go to Germany on next Oct, but how will I change my lifestyle? I felt that my physical strength has fell considerably. I go down the hill when I go to my church, but I can't go up the hill to return home. So I detour the route to go to central of Sendai or return my home. And I'm still short-tempered. I'm likely to grab hold of my parents when they scold me fiercely. Perhaps, it won't change. I may have to bear until next October. I've been variously immature yet, but thank you for your continuing support.

I ate Billy Ramen, my favorite ramen, too much yesterday, so my weight has been likely to become 92kg. Changing into BMI, it's 31.9. It's a bit NG. I've not been careful about my weight. And I've skipped to take Alli, the inhibitor of absorption of fat. So it may be naturally for increasing my weight. I want to make my joyful life even if my life is short. So, it's not careful about my weight. But how's that? Recently, my blood pressure has continued to hypertension. It's also naturally, because the blood pressure increases if we're fat. I can drink only sweet drinks because my taste has changed. With it, I've taken sugar too much, it's also made me increase my weight. Should I reduce my weight?

Today, I went to the psychiatry and took counseling. I informed the counselor of my chest pain on Oct. 11th. The counselor said, "It was OK for you to find the reason of your chest pain. With continuing, you should monitor your chest with skipping GLP-1 agonist." I became a bit relaxed to hear his saying. The counselor also said,  "Your present task is very difficult, but inversely, you can intend to resolve such difficult task. With deciding the deadline, it's important for you to take the task with your pace." After hearing his saying, I became a bit more relaxed. In conclusion, it's important for me to take my task with my pace. I have to collect more information of my task. With skipping GLP-1 agonist, I can be likely to extend my lifeline, so I have to think more how to spend my rest lifeline. In short term, I want to go to Gogh Museum in Ueno.

I went to obesity clinic, and informed that I felt fierce chest pain on Oct. 11th. I also took X-ray and electric cardiography. But both results were normal. I had neither angina pectoris nor myocardial infarction. The doctor said that I should monitor chest pain for future. I'd been prepared for my early death for heart disease, but it seemed I was hasty. However, I have to think about both "until now" and "from now", for future. I've been happy enough because I could do almost doing and go to various places, including Singapore, Hong Kong and so on. Because of the wall of fact, many things didn't go well for me, such as the pharmacist in the pharmacy. My life has been not bad, but I can make my life better more effort I do. In short term, I'll go to Ueno and watch Gogh Exhibition in Tokyo Metropolitan Museum. It's important for me to make good life. I don't want to become like King Soga in Fire Bird Yamato Edition by Tezuka Osamu.

I felt chest pain for 20 minutes when I met the peers of developmental handicapped yesterday. I felt also right jaw pain about 3 minutes. I had been anxious to it, so I went to hospital today.     I took many examinations, such as X-ray, blood test, ECHO and electro cardiography. But all result is normal. I've thought I have angina pectoris. From electrocardiography, my heart didn't occur myocardial infarction. However, the doctor said there aren't no possibilities that I have angina pectoris. But, in bigger hospital, I should take examination, the doctor said.     By the prescription, I bought nitroglycerin making the cardiovascular extending. I took nitroglycerin in the pharmacy because I had a bit chest pain, and felt my heart cooler.     When I took the lunch, I had felt "the shadow of my death" at first, because I'm likely to have the heart disease. I thought, "For what, have I lived until now?" I've th...

It's long time no see. I returned from OSAKA EXPO 2025 yesterday. But I've felt my decreasing physical strength and resilience rather than fun. My father was more vigorous than me, and he stepped forward faster. About me, in third day, I've felt tiredness and wound and been likely to return the hotel earlier. But, by my father's recommendation, I stayed EXPO and watch the drone show. It was very beautiful. I went to EXPO because I had felt a picture is worth a thousand words, but honestly, I had underestimated it. However, in EXPO, there were many and many people. I had to appreciate my father. If my father doesn't accompany me, I would bring neither portable chair and water bottle. So it would be more miserable. All pavilions were so crowded, our main place to go was Commons Pavilions. But I interpreted the words of my father and curators, such as Georgians, Slovakians and so on. My English words made foreigners understood, so I got the best experience. I have mise...

In my church, there was "circle for praying" today. There is also "status report and praying with English", so I joined this circle with foreigners. I was very tensioned because it's first time for me to praying with English. I couldn't listen English talking of other foreigners. But I could inform, that I want to increase revenue of my pharmacy and contribute my president. Nobody except me had joined the English praying circle. But if I don't join this circle, nobody won't join this circle. And I wouldn't win the peer of my church which works in JICA forever. She has worked in JICA, so her experience communicating with foreigners is far more than me. I want to watch various things of Japan and the world, and I want to inform Japanese culture such as Hakkenden. I can't dismiss this experience. After it, I ate salmon-rice as lunch in my church. It was very delicious!

My vigor has recovered one by one since I was working in my office yesterday. I've become the emotion that I want to go abroad again. At first, I decided to go to the Gogh's Museum in Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum in November. I've known this exhibition, when I was watching NHK in Topos, the onsen in central of Sendai. I watched various opus by Gogh in Singapore, but I want to watch them again. I 'm thinking about how much budget is. But I also want to watch both Newoman Takanawa and Odaiba Retro Museum. If I will watch them, I have to stay in the hotel of Tokyo, and the budget has to increase much more. Should I make this trip the day trip?

Today, I bought Shinkansen tickets for travel of Osaka EXPO with my father. For the discount coupon of shareholder of JR East, I could buy about 50% value. But, recently, I'd understood that my physical strength and guts have decreased far more than when I was 20s. Because I've not been able to rise the hill from my favorite church to my home. I'm anxious whether I can bear walking around in the venue of Osaka EXPO from morning to night. The time I want to sleep has increased recently too. Always, I can sleep about 5.5 hours every night. Perhaps, for future, I'm likely not to go abroad. What will my dream that I want to watch various things of Japan and the world become? What will I become because all of physical strength, guts and stability of my mental has decreased much?

Today, I went to Misaki, the sushi restaurant in the central of Sendai city when I was in the way to go to obesity clinic. I've been impressed to tablet ordering system normalized now, when it had been cutting edge system in Aichi EXPO of 2005, rather than sushi. Tablet ordering system, IC tagged card, AED and so on were cutting edge system in 2005, Aichi EXPO year. But now, all of them have been normalized. Tomorrow, I'll buy the ticket of Shinkansen for travel of EXPO 2025 with my father. Will the cutting-edge exhibitions on EXPO 2025 become normalized in Japan after 20 years? Recently, such as AI, development of technology has been fierce. I want to catch up this progress and become used to cutting-edge technology.

One day after I took three-ways interview, I forgot to check both my weight and my blood pressure. My president had recommended me to lose my BMI by 30.0. But, as always, I've continued to buy and eat. And, as always, I've not been careful of my weight and my blood pressure. Rather, I'm scared to accumulate my stress and lose my control. As always, I can't control myself insufficiently. In the day of three-ways interview too, I ate lunch too much. I think, that my insufficient self-control ability won't change or become worse in some cases. In this case, how will I live? To lose my weight, I've continued to take GLP-1 agonist every day. But I don't know what result become. Because I continue to buy and eat . Well, it's far better than losing my control and stab or shoot others. It's fortune that my living place is Japan, not United States, over and over.

In free time, I've been reading, "Rurouni Kenshin Magazine Reiwa 7th Summer". I've been amazed Mr. Sorachi Hideaki's illustration, the author of Gintama, and Mr. Matsui Yusei's illustration, the author of The Elusive Samurai. Particularly, I've thought no contact between Mr. Sorachi and Mr. Watsuki Nobuhiro. I've thought, that Gintama, The Elusive Samurai and so on has been affected from Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X. Gintama's gag from Rurouni Kenshin had existed in the comparatively late period. This book also portrays about the detail of Shishio Makoto and Jippongatana. I'll intend to read it for future.

I was likely to eat too much. So my weight has increased about 88kg again. For my mother's recommendation, I decided to take Rybelsus, the agonist of GLP-1, again. GLP-1 has affection to lose our weight and our appetite. But we have to take as soon as we get up, and we can't eat and drink anything for 30 minutes. It's very troubling for me. And this prescription isn't under public insurance and needed about 16,000 yens. Obesity causes various disease, such as sleeping apnea, hypertension and so on. So I want this prescription to become under insurance. Actually, I've been calmness even if my weight increases. Only my parents have blamed and been careful too much. But should I care of my weight more? Eating and drinking is the best method to relieve my stress.