SPIRIT's Diary

My quotas are, 1. In English studying, I should write English in this blog or X(former twitter), or make video of my English speaking for 30 seconds. 2. In work, I should make one goal each one day, and finish it within this day. 3. About alcohol, I should drink nothing or 40g most (5% beer 1000ml). 4. About wasting to eat and drink, I should spend less than 500 yen each one day. But these quotas have become a mere shell of completely, except studying English. I had drunk 9% Chu-hai again and wasted more 1,000 yens to eat and drink. But, I can no more control my emotion and my appetite, so I'll go to an obesity hospital. I said before, that I'll fail if relying on only my passion and guts. But I can't believe I've failed to accomplish my quotas only one-half month. Should I revise my quotas? If I can control my emotion and appetite, I won't need to waste money to eat and drink liquor. But, somehow, it's no use. Is it only way that I give up with good grace?

"In human like lifestyle", I'm sinking into the garbage. "In human like lifestyle", I'm working like slave by nasty persons about my unwilling work. "In human like lifestyle", I'm masturbating with Ona-Hole by picking up the free porno pictures in the internet. Dammit! (By Itahashi Kiyoshi in Ushijima: The Loan Shark) This is one quote in Ushijima: The Loan shark. About myself, my work isn't my unwilling task, and my president is very kind. But, recently, I've not been able to accomplish my quotas. I've wasted over 1000 yen to eat and drink liquor. And I had drunk chu-hai again. "To increase my productivity and continue to work, I'll lose my weight and skip drinking alcohol." If I think so, I should have made my mind relieve On second thoughts, I'm easily agitated and inflammable. I'm very short-tempered and have few coordination. My personality is like “the savage beast” or “the tamed viper”. In other words, I...

Recently, I've not accomplished my quotas, such as skipping alcohol, wasting money with less than 500 yen and so on. I often drunk 9% Chu-hai, and today I vomited on account of drinking alcohol too much. Should I adjust my quotas a little, or should I continue these quotas? I'm always strain and easily become tired, so I drink alcohol to become relaxed. But from the view of long period, alcohol makes me bad of my mind. I should more relaxed, but what should I do? I may should think, that both my meaningful action and meaningless action makes me. Of course, it's important for me to write English in this blog. Just writing and speaking English may be wonderful to me. Tentatively, I decided to continue these quotas, such as skipping alcohol and wasting money is less than 500 yen.

It took 5 days after I decided my quotas in various field. Until now, About English studying: I accomplished every day within the morning. About drinking alcohol and finishing the goal at work: I accomplished and not. About wasting money to eat and drink: I couldn't accomplish at all. Is my 500 yens budget to drink and eat strict? It needs 432 yens for only Tokucha and one Famichiki. About studying English, I could make video of my speaking English within the morning. About studying, it's easy for me to accomplish my quota. But, it's difficult to reduce wasting money to eat and drink. Still, my habit I resolve my stress to eat and drink hasn't revised. By other methods, can't I resolve my stress? I'm Conservation Type (Stacking Type). So it's important for me to decide my quotas each one day. But it's meaningless if I don't accomplish my quotas. Should I make my quota, particularly about wasting money to eat and drink lower?

In my church, yesterday was Easter Festival. With eating Hayashi Rice, I talked with foreigners more than usual. On second thoughts, I understand I can learn language by using more times. Of course, it's the best if I can speak English smoothly with native pronuncication. But, in my present condition, I can talk with foreigners moderately with English. It's better, not the best. Of course, I've not spoken my ambition to foreigners yet. My ambition is that I inform Japanese culture such as Hakkenden of more foreigners. But I'm embarrassed to speak it to others. General speaking, it's difficult for me to make foreigners in my church become interested in Hakkenden. Should I speak that Hakkenden may be similar to Super Sentai/Power Rangers? Anyway, I have to improve my English ability more. In quota about studying English, I could accomplish it every day, within the morning. I have to continue it.

When returning from the psychiatry, I went to Funaoka Castle Park again to watch the cherry blossoms. But almost petal of cherry blossoms has scattered. "Hana Ni Arashi（花に嵐）", which means "when flowers blossom, there are many storms, so flowers scatter easily." is true. Relying on my anger without clear purpose, I drunk liquor and ate potatoes. I've become angered and ate potato roughly, understand that the season will change. I failed my quota about alcohol in this day. Even if without it, the quotas about work and drinking alcohol is sometimes accomplished and not accomplished. I can accomplish the quota of studying English easily, but I can't  accomplish the quota about wasting money to drink and eat every day. It took 3 days after I decided various quotas. But I may have to re-think about my present quotas.

Today is the first day after I decided quotas in various field. About English studying, within the morning, I made the video of my speaking English, and accomplished the quota. About work...the goal may be wildest, so I couldn't my goal today. And it's doubtful that information I used is accurate. It needs more time to finish my goal. About alcohol, I succeeded in skipping alcohol today. But I should have drunken Regtect, the alcohol restraint, after every meals. About wasting money to drink and eat, this quota is very difficult, I spent over 500 yen, my budget each day. It needed 432 yen of only Tokucha and Famichiki. I compiled the result, Success: studying English and skipping alcohol Failure: Accompilshing the goal at work and spending money less than 500 yen. Particularly, it's difficult to surpress wasting money. I want caffeine when I become sleepy, so I have to increase sleeping time. There is one Dragon Sakura's quote, "Only one or two people in groups in...

Since long time, I'd forgotten that I'm Conservation Type(Stacking Type) in Dragon Sakura2. In other words, I finish to read the first book before the next book. The specification of this type is, 1. It's important to get own confidence and peace of mind. 2. Their place working and studying should become fixed. 3. They should decide quotas each one day. 4. They should inform own progressing condition of their peers. 5. They shouldn't try the high-level problems. In accordance with third principle, I decided make quotas each one day. My quotas are, 1. In English studying, I should write English in this blog or X(former twitter), or make video of my English speaking for 30 seconds. 2. In work, I should make one goal each one day, and finish it within this day. 3. About alcohol, I should drink nothing or 40g most(5% beer 1000ml). 4. About wasting to eat and drink, I should spend less than 500 yen each one day. With my smartphone, I can't write my blog...