SPIRIT's Diary

I've been mentally unstable and can't control my emotion. So, this has been the biggest disorder to reduce my weight and my amount of drinking alcohol. When I was working in pharmacy, the evaluate of my self-control ability was also the lowest in my abilities. Actually, twice, I bored a hole in the restroom of my workplace. It has been never changed until now. I work in the workplace which understand my disorder, and live in some high lifestyle and some own assets. But, otherwise, I couldn't control my emotion, I would have slayed others and go to jail. Was my "Oya-Gacha/Parents-lots" good...? The relation of my parents was very bad, and I'd been taken physical punishments from my mother... Anyway, I think money is the tool to improve myself and contribute the society, not evil. I need some money to maintain my present lifestyle and my assets. In previous time, I said, "Earning money itself is not evil, isn't it." Some people would say, "You...

I began to study Financial Planner 3th Grade. It's OK for me if I make my sense of money ordinary by it. But there are many difficult phrases and calculation, such as Future Value Factor, Present Worth Factor and so on. And it's also difficult to calculate by them. In this way, can I pass the examination or not? Originally, I think money is neither clean nor dirty. But  I want my money to use for my desire and contribution to society. I've recorded my revenue and expenditure in Excel. But is it insufficient to this? My emotion has been unstable, and I can't control sufficiently. Can't I stop wasting money for eating and drinking liquor? I think it doesn't relationship between qualification of FP 3th Grade and controlling of my emotion. But will it go well if I can get qualification of FP 3th Grade?

Recently, I'm irritated every day. One reason may be, that I take sweatdrop more easily because the climate has become warm. I have atopic dermatitis, so my whole body become itchy. And, still, I can't believe myself and what I'm doing, perfectly. I've continued to write English in this blog and X, but it may be insufficient for me. I've begun to skip drinking liquor, and it's taken 3 days. Of course, I have to reflect that I had sometimes drunk liquor. On this weekend, I'll go to Funaoka Castle Park, to take blossom viewing. Whether will I take the liquor or not in the time? When I go to cherry blossoms in Funaoka Castle Park, Can I take good pictures of cherry blossoms and publicize this picture in this blog? It's good for me to be able to feature Funaoka Castle Park, as the wonderful place seeing cherry blossoms.

Recently, I'm tired every day. I can't understand about what I'm doing. So, I consulted Chat GPT. Chat GPT's principal message is, "It's important for you to take a short break." So, I've become a bit confortable. I also want to drink liquor again, but I'm likely to return the life drinking liquor almost days, so I'm scared. I've become bored to listen relaxing music. I tried to make this blog for foreigners first, to make Japan the oriented-tourism country. But this ambition may be too big. I can't learn language unless I use it much time in my case. It may be important for me to praise myself. It's even magnificent that I live in today and take my work. Tentative, it's praising for me to have finished the report today, and I should be prepared for presents, including dessert and liquor.