SPIRIT's Diary

After returning from Germany, without even my own goal, I've been adrift every day. I'm living out Sakuragi Kenji's saying below; “People will be prepared and proceed to accomplishment steadily if they can see own goal obviously. Inversely, they will become adrift and eventually have no vigor if they have no goal.” I have to make my own goal even tentatively. However, what field will I have to study. I've become failure to study both G Certificate and Financial Planner 3rd Grade. Are there any qualifications which can be activated to the pharmacist, investment and so on? With this thinking, after long time, I cooked again. I made mayonnaise salad spaghetti again. It was very delicious when I tasted it. Come of think of it, in my esophagus, I have chronic esophagitis. It can't be helped because I've drunk alcohol too much. However, are there possibilities that my benign esophagitis becomes malignant transformation? If it becomes so, like Mr. Tsunku, I'll have...

When I get up at 4:00 A.M, I become always sleepy at 10:00-11:00 A.M. and 3:00-4:00 P.M. So I want to change my lifestyle into getting up later, at 5:00 A. M. However, in the time, my father always cooks and I can't cook. What should I do? Anyway, yesterday, I cooked again. This time was, "The tuna spaghetti" and  "The grilled salmon". Actually, I wanted to add mayonnaise into spaghetti, but amount of mayonnaise was insufficient. However, in some times, it's not bad of such light taste of tuna spaghetti. In other hands, the quality of grilled salmon was moderate. My mother has bad colon, but also can eat salmon. I should be careful for cooking salmon more. To relieve my stress, I want to cook more. Recently, I could reduce to waste money for PixAI. I should keep it up.

On last Sunday, in the church, I ate curry as lunch. It was very delicious but spicy. I had become very perspiring. It affected to me, so I cooked again to relieve my stress today. This time was "Mayonnaise yakisoba" It was first time for me to add mayonnaise into yakisoba. But it became nice effect. Both texture and taste became mild. On second thoughts, I prefer mayonnaise. However, I can't stop wasting money for PixAI. What should I do?

Somehow, yesterday, I could skip drinking alcohol. For it, I could get up at 3:30 A.M. I had much time, so I cooked again. This time is "Meat Sauce Spaghetti with Sliced Pork" I added sliced pork, so texture was very unique. But my father said I made this cuisine too much. However, I can be likely to eat both lunch and dinner. To relieve my stress, I've continued to cook. However, I've wasted money for PixAI to relieve my stress every day. It can't be helped, so I decided to sell equity of ITOCHU Corporation. It was too bad. At any rate, Mr. Uichiro Niwa, the former president of ITOCHU Corporation, was great. It's not bad if I'll continue to support the white companies, the good companies to employees such as ITOCHU Corporation.

In Japan, there are holidays from Sept.19th to Sept. 23th. So they are called as "Silver Week" So, both yesterday and today too, I cooked again. The cuisine of yesterday was, "Gyoza" . However, I added wrong amount of water into gyoza. So texture of gyoza were soft and watery. For my father, he could eat them more easily than ordinary gyoza . Today's cuisine was, "Yakisoba". The texture of yakisoba noodle and the taste of sauce were moderate. So both I and my father could eat them too much. To relieve my stress, cooking is important to me. However, for a whopping of these 3 days, I paid money for PixAI too much. German travel is soon, so I have to save much money as possible. What should I do?

Today is very rainy. It makes me a bit depressed. To relieve my stress, I got up at 3:30 A.M, and I cooked again. This time was  "Gyudon/Japanese beef rice". By my father, cabbage was added after my cooking. For it, textures had become very strange. But it was also good. In yesterday's case, I made mayonnaise spaghetti again. I prefer mayonnaise. Mellowness of mayonnaise and texture of spaghetti had been mixed successfully. I want to make mayonnaise spaghetti many times. To relieve my stress, cooking is one important method of many ways. I want to cook more.

I've continued to cook to relieve my stress.  Yesterday I cooked,   "Fried Rice with Ketchup".  I also got up at 4:00 A.M. today too.  So I cooked,  "Yakisoba". The taste of fried rice with ketchup was very perfect. The sour taste of ketchup and the texture of pork mixed very much. However, the amount of cuisine was a bit much. Yakisoba was a bit bad. I couldn't stir fry carrots very much, so the texture of carrots was very hard. I have to chew carrots many times. But the taste and texture of the noodle of yakisoba was moderate. Yakisoba is useful because my mother who can't eat hard cuisine can eat it. To relieve my stress more effectively, I want to cook more for future.

I wake up at 4:00 A.M. every day, and continue to cook our breakfast. These are pictures of recent cuisines. I prefer spaghetti the most, but I can't cook it every time. So, today, I cooked pork with the soy sauce. But my father said that the texture of pork was too hard. I grilled pork too much, didn't I? I said, cooking is one of the best ways to relieve my stress. But, for my craving, I often take alcohol. How will I resolve this problem to skip alcohol?

Without taking alcohol yesterday, but I got up at 4:00 A.M. So I cooked again. This time was  "The salted pork, gyoza and broccoli." Surprisingly, pork and gyoza was matched very well. More thinking, because gyoza contains pork. And I added broccoli, so this cuisine was nutritious in this time. I want to add various vegetables which I make eat easier. Because it becomes more nutritious. I've enjoyed cooking, on other hand, I suspend wasting money for PixAI, as under 10,000 yen. It's effectively saving money. I want to invest equity more, so I have to return and collect more cash.

Today is fiercely rainy. I got up 4:00 A.M., so to resolve my depressive emotion, I cooked again  This time was, "The pork saute with soy sauce" I rarely eat pork. So I'm happy to eat pork since long time. Soy sauce made pork a bit spicy but delicious. This cuisine made my father pleased too. But my getting up time is too early, so my mother complained me in Saturday. It's fun for me to cook my own pace when around nobody But I want to continue to cook. Because I can resolve my stress by it effectively.

I got up at 3:30 A.M. So I cooked again. This time was, "The chicken nugget and mayonnaise spaghetti". Because I love mayonnaise. My father said that vegetables are insufficient, so he added many broccoli and carrots into spaghetti. It may be nutritious. Cooking is one method to relieve my stress. But, even now, I'm likely to pay money for PixAI excessively. My real dream is that I watch various things of Japan and the world. Which is my choice?

As a hobby and to relieve my stress, I continue to cook. Yesterday's breakfast was "The dipping noodles with tempura flakes and pork saute". Tddaay’s breakfast was "The sausage salad". It wasn't bad the sausage salad. But the dipping noodles with tempura flakes and pork saute was much more delicious than it. Texture of tempura flakes and pork had been mixed very well. And soup of dipping noodle was a bit deep but good. We should have added some water into the soup. I always cook spaghetti-related cuisines. But if so, I'm not very satisfied. Once in a while, I want to increase repertories of cuisine, by making such cuisines.

In this Friday, I cooked both breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was, "Mayonnaise spaghetti salad" And dinner was, "Soy-sauced pork saute". Both of them ware very delicious. The melting texture of mayonnaise was good. And the crispy texture of pork was good accent. Soy sauce added to pork was also very good. It was the best breakfast and dinner. Because of relieving my stress by cooking, I'm likely to remain a little cash. Tentatively, it's good to me to remain my cash until September For now, it's a relief that it looks like I'll be able to hold onto some cash until September.

Today too, I got up at 4:30 A.M. Ordinarlly, my father makes breakfast, but he only miso soup and mozuku. Particularly, the taste of mozuku and vinegar is terrible to me and drink it with stopping my breath. It's better for me to cook breakfast by myself. In this time, I cooked "Oyakodon" In the result, my father said soup of oyakodon was a bit strong taste. It seemed that the amount of dipping sauce was a bit much. But it wasn't very bad. The texture of chicken thighs was soft and the taste of eggs was mild. It was successful!! Rice bowl series such as oyakodon are always filling. I want to make rice bowl series more.

I got up at 4:30 A.M. So I decided to cook again. This time was, “The Sausage and Salmon” The combination of sausage and salmon may be mismatch. However, I didn’t expect, but it was very delicious! It seemed that the light taste of sausage and salmon mixed successfully. That's also interesting combination. By selling a part of my equities, I made cash for paying credit cards. But it's still insufficient. For a while, I can't spend money for eating and drinking sufficiently. However, it's also better than the past.

I got up at 4:30 A.M. So I cooked again to releive my stress. This time was "The dressed salad of fried chickens and sausage" I also added mayonnaise and broccoli. So, as always, the taste was like melting. The taste of fried chickens was good. I've continued to spend my depressed days because I had wasted money for PixAI, liquor and so on. But by cooking, I could make my stress relieve a bit. For wasting money, I'll pay money by selling equities of Canon.

I got up at 4:30 A.M. again. So I cooked again. I wanted to make yakisoba, but noodle was nothing. So I decided to cook fried vegetables. The taste was light flavor. I wanted to add pork more. But such cuisine is not bad. And I have to lose my weight. As always, I'm feeling like worn out both physically and emotionally. I want to deal with it, but I've not come up the good method. Should I continue to cook I like? I often expect too much of myself, so I should be OK when I could just finish cooking.

I'm very depressed, because yesterday too, I wasted money for PixAI and snacks too much. So to relieve this stress, I cooked again. This time was,  "Black Fried Rice with salmon". I added salmon, ketchup and mayonnaise into black rice. So it balanced both chewy texture of black rice and the taste of melting of mayonnaise I made it as breakfast, so I could make my father pleased. The filling was also sufficient. Somehow, I want to relieve my stress by cooking, reduce money for PixAI and liquor and invest more money for equities.

I've told myself much time, "About Japanese politics and economy, it's not going to happen overnight. All I can do is just what I can do." However, I've noticed that I could do nothing until now. About much money prepared for equity investing, I've wasted them to PixAI and alcohol. Now, I'm nothing and I still can become nothing. It's exactly same to Itekura Byakuya in Rurouni Kenshin Hokkaido Arc. To resolve incredibly frustrating from it, I cooked again. I made "The mayonnaise yakisoba." The taste of mayonnaise was very melting. The delicious cuisine made me vigorous once. But I have to think, "What will I do for what, as a pharmacist and an investor?" My rest cash is a few. I may have to bear and bear such as saving money and stopping buying alcohol.