SPIRIT's Diary

This is a recent record of drinking alcohol. Recently, I had drunk Shochu much, but honestly, I had drunk Shochu forcibly. Recently, my taste has changed. So I can't drink except tea, juice, drink and Chu-hai. I'm not allowed to drink caffeine from my parents, but I also often drink tea now. When I take tea or take GLP-1 agonist, I feel chest pains after a few hours. As I've thought, is my heart worse? My father told, that I'll become fat if I take sugar too much. But I can only drink juice, Chu-hai and so on. What should I do?

My weight has increased to 91.3kg. So I started to take GLP-1 agonist again. Originally, it's the medication for diabetes, but effective to lose weight. My mother said, "Your chest pain on Oct. 11th was for taking caffeine too much, not for GLP-1 agonist. You should take GLP-1 agonist again and decrease to take caffeine." But is it true? Anyway, I have to receive a letter of reference in the hospital of SAS, and go to bigger hospital to take examination for more detail. What did cause my chest pain?

Yesterday, I went to church and Sunpia No Yu/Sunpia's Hot Spring. But, now too, I feel uncomfortable when I drink Monster or Tokucha. Has my heart become worse truly? Or temporary side effect of GLP-1 agonist? If my heart has become worse, it's that my lifespan is likely to be short. I said I have nothing to regret because I could do various actions and I could go to various place, including foreign country. But if I had more greed, I wanted to go to Europe. It may be early, but should I plan for the end of life? I don't know what I have to do at first. I have lived my life with "My Way". But I can become happier for future. I have to live vigorously.

Today, I went to the psychiatry and took counseling. I informed the counselor of my chest pain on Oct. 11th. The counselor said, "It was OK for you to find the reason of your chest pain. With continuing, you should monitor your chest with skipping GLP-1 agonist." I became a bit relaxed to hear his saying. The counselor also said,  "Your present task is very difficult, but inversely, you can intend to resolve such difficult task. With deciding the deadline, it's important for you to take the task with your pace." After hearing his saying, I became a bit more relaxed. In conclusion, it's important for me to take my task with my pace. I have to collect more information of my task. With skipping GLP-1 agonist, I can be likely to extend my lifeline, so I have to think more how to spend my rest lifeline. In short term, I want to go to Gogh Museum in Ueno.

One day after I took three-ways interview, I forgot to check both my weight and my blood pressure. My president had recommended me to lose my BMI by 30.0. But, as always, I've continued to buy and eat. And, as always, I've not been careful of my weight and my blood pressure. Rather, I'm scared to accumulate my stress and lose my control. As always, I can't control myself insufficiently. In the day of three-ways interview too, I ate lunch too much. I think, that my insufficient self-control ability won't change or become worse in some cases. In this case, how will I live? To lose my weight, I've continued to take GLP-1 agonist every day. But I don't know what result become. Because I continue to buy and eat . Well, it's far better than losing my control and stab or shoot others. It's fortune that my living place is Japan, not United States, over and over.

I was likely to eat too much. So my weight has increased about 88kg again. For my mother's recommendation, I decided to take Rybelsus, the agonist of GLP-1, again. GLP-1 has affection to lose our weight and our appetite. But we have to take as soon as we get up, and we can't eat and drink anything for 30 minutes. It's very troubling for me. And this prescription isn't under public insurance and needed about 16,000 yens. Obesity causes various disease, such as sleeping apnea, hypertension and so on. So I want this prescription to become under insurance. Actually, I've been calmness even if my weight increases. Only my parents have blamed and been careful too much. But should I care of my weight more? Eating and drinking is the best method to relieve my stress.