SPIRIT's Diary

I've been mentally unstable and can't control my emotion. So, this has been the biggest disorder to reduce my weight and my amount of drinking alcohol. When I was working in pharmacy, the evaluate of my self-control ability was also the lowest in my abilities. Actually, twice, I bored a hole in the restroom of my workplace. It has been never changed until now. I work in the workplace which understand my disorder, and live in some high lifestyle and some own assets. But, otherwise, I couldn't control my emotion, I would have slayed others and go to jail. Was my "Oya-Gacha/Parents-lots" good...? The relation of my parents was very bad, and I'd been taken physical punishments from my mother... Anyway, I think money is the tool to improve myself and contribute the society, not evil. I need some money to maintain my present lifestyle and my assets. In previous time, I said, "Earning money itself is not evil, isn't it." Some people would say, "You...

Tomorrow will be the three-way interview. But, I couldn't accomplish my goal that I reduce my BMI less than 30.0. Without becoming inflammable and mad, I'm continuing to deal with my task calmly. But I'm a bit frustrated because my suggestion that we should put down English in our pharmacies more doesn't adopt. In fact, it's OK for me to only continue to work calmly. My president said the operating profit of our company has increased more than she expected for 2 years. Therefore, my bonus payroll in this year was more than last years. But until when will it continue? Amazon Pharmacy has advanced in Japan and is there the possibility that prescriptions in our pharmacies will be devoured to Amazon? Someone said we should be careful for the service after customers come in more than the service before they come in. But I'm not good to care meticulous service after customers enter. More customers before entering our pharmacies should increase by ourselves. By the way...

My weight has become over 92 kg. By own, I can't control all of my weight, appetite and emotion, so I decided to consult obesity clinic.     On second thoughts, I'm a developmental disorder and my emotion is unstable by all means. In this case, I've continued to my career as a pharmacist and an investor.       Dragon sakura 2 said, "To make good peers, we should go to Tokyo University." But about my peer of developmental disorders, "Without working, he's stayed at home." "Except working in Pre-employment transition centers B type, he always goes to game centers and restaurant." "He had been a hikikomori since long periods, but he's gone to an Employment Support Center recently." And most of them are very fat. Thinking about it, I've been desperate and lived like a chariot horse. Instead, I can't control both my emotion and my appetite, and I'm easily agitated and inflammable.    ...