My Choice

 The subtitle of this article is a play on “Gouki’s Choice,” the title of an episode of Seijuu Sentai Gingaman.

(Incidentally, Gouki is Ginga Blue, played by a young Shoei.)

Yesterday, despite myself, I ended up paying for PixAI yet again.

So far this month, I’ve spent just under ¥5,000 on PixAI.

If possible, I want to keep it at that and avoid spending any more.

Incidentally, I make my Hakkenden-related animations with a different AI animation system called DomoAI (https://www.domoai.app/).

What I really want to make is

“an animation in which the Eight Dog Warriors fight fiercely,”

but I’m struggling even to generate

“an animation in which the Eight Dog Warriors walk side by side,”

so I need to finish that first.

That said, I still haven’t accumulated enough credits for it, and perhaps not enough time has passed yet, because I haven’t received any of the periodic credits either.

Since I’m managing to hold back in that area, perhaps that means I am capable of exercising self-restraint there.

Today, regarding my trip to Germany, I asked about bringing my CPAP machine for sleep apnea and about insurance. But I realized that there is a part of me that finds all those procedures a hassle.

In the end, the question comes down to what I really want:

“Do I want to see all kinds of things in Japan and around the world, or do I want yuri-themed AI illustrations and AI animations?”

Thinking about it, there are two choices—or rather, two questions—I need to face:

• Do I want to see all kinds of things in Japan and around the world, or do I want yuri-themed AI illustrations and AI animations?

• Should the idea of justice I uphold be that of the Bakumatsu-era shishi, or that of Takashi Yanase?

Takashi Yanase’s idea of justice is the justice of Anpanman. I think it can be summed up as:

“He himself is the weakest hero in the world, yet he still gives bread to hungry children.”

(Incidentally, in the original version, Anpanman is portrayed as a short, stocky middle-aged man with a turban wrapped around his head. Children make fun of him, and even his fellow heroes treat him as an embarrassment. Even so, he gives bread to hungry children.)

There is one more thing.

When I once had a falling-out with a political blogger who had been my mentor in politics, I asked whether the right way to live was expressed by the words:

“Rather be shattered like a jewel than remain whole like a roof tile.” — Shoin Yoshida

or instead by the way of life expressed in:

“The purpose of life is not to attain enlightenment, but to live.” — Taro Okamoto

I never received an answer. But when I think about it, I don’t worry very much about my retirement funds.

Part of me thinks, “I already invest in stocks and iDeCo, so the rest is up to fate.”

I also believe in the saying:

“A man of principle must never forget that he may end up lying dead in a ditch.”

In other words, a person with a great aspiration should not be afraid even if, in the end, their body is cast aside in a ditch.

At any rate, if I can live to the age of seventy-five and fulfill what I want to accomplish, then after that I wouldn’t care even if my body were thrown into a ditch.

And yet, I’m still cheekily making AI animations with PixAI and producing more failed attempts when the prompt doesn’t work properly.

This time, it was

“a yuri scene featuring Riko Aida and Satsuki Momoi from Kuroko’s Basketball.”

So which is really my desire: making things like this, or going to places in Japan and overseas and broadening my horizons?

I’ll be forty before long, and more and more things are starting to feel like a hassle, so I think I need to consider this a little more seriously.