What Can I Do, and What Should I Do?

Ever since I returned from Germany, for some reason I’ve barely studied English at all. Instead, I’ve spent day after day guzzling alcohol.

Even though I know I can’t go on like this, I just can’t resist the cravings and end up buying alcohol at convenience stores and elsewhere.

I know full well that things can’t continue this way.

At church yesterday, I prayed desperately to God, searching for what I can do and what I should do.

The possibilities I see are these:

•  At my current company, serve as a strategic adviser to the president, providing information on diseases, medications, and business strategy (although I still haven’t learned to make full use of AI tools such as ChatGPT).

•  As an investor, provide capital to ethical companies that contribute to society, such as Ajinomoto.

•  Work to promote Japanese culture, particularly Hakkenden (The Eight Dog Chronicles), although this hasn’t earned me a single yen.

In any case, I need to learn how to use AI and truly master it.

As for investing, I’ve only just returned from my trip to Germany, and I still have loose ends to take care of, including communications charges. In fact, I’m getting quite worried about this month’s credit card bill.

Still, I have no choice but to sort things out on my own.

“If you don’t wipe your own ass, you’ll never change a thing.”

That’s what Ushijima said, after all.

I know perfectly well that, in trying to promote Japanese culture, including Hakkenden, I’ve repeatedly infringed on copyrights.

But that illustrator’s artwork is so good that I found myself wondering which would be better:

•  Let it sit unused on my computer, or

•  Put it to good use in spreading both the illustrator’s name and Hakkenden overseas.

Come to think of it, even Ushijima continued working as an illegal moneylender, fully aware that he could be arrested at any time. That much must be true.

I, too, could end up striking or even stabbing someone and getting arrested at any time.

I need to steel my resolve a little more.

(Incidentally, during the final years of the Tokugawa shogunate, Yamagata Aritomo went by the name Kyōsuke (狂介), the sort of unusual name that might be called a “kirakira name” 

today. The character 狂, meaning “mad” or “frenzied,” and the fierce sense of justice it came to represent in Chōshū during that turbulent period give me much to think about, even in our own times, when circumstances seem similar.)

For now, perhaps I should impose sensible limits on my spending on PixAI and impulse purchases of food at convenience stores.

Should I also make more active use of hedged stock trades (“tsunagi-uri”)?

Whatever the case, I have to do something.