What Kind of Person Should I Have Become?
Yesterday, I heard about the sudden death of a friend of my father’s. I also nearly nodded off at the office where I work, and the persistent diarrhea I’ve been dealing with lately still hasn’t stopped. All of this got me thinking about a lot of things. “What kind of person should I have become?” Even at the age of 40, I’m still emotionally unstable. I can’t seem to break free from alcohol, and the severe daytime sleepiness I experience only makes my instability worse. And if my relationships with other people deteriorate further, perhaps I could even end up stabbing someone or setting them on fire. I might end up with repeated criminal convictions or cases in which charges are not brought against me, like Mamoru Takuma or Kaoru Kobayashi. Looking back, I feel that my extraordinary aggressiveness has been there since I was very young. When I was still a small child living in Chiba, a friend once came over to play and brought his older sister with him. But I got into an argument with hi...